Andy Samburg

Hey Andy Samburg,

You know what - You Suck!

I don't know how much money you make, but I'm fairly certain it's a boatload.

LEARN TO ACT YOU F*#K!

Stop simply staring at the cue cards and waiting for the other person to finish speaking before reading from the card.

Here's an idea:

1. Learn the lines.

2. Look at the cue card to remind yourself of the line.

3. Actually LISTEN to the person speaking.

4. Say your line.

Now, I understand you may not have enough time to actually learn the lines, in which case I recommend:

1. Listen to the person speaking.

2. Look at cue card, and begin speaking while simultaneously registering the remainder of your line.

3. Look at the person with whom you are speaking and speak the remainder of your line.

Scratch all of that, loser.

Just PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE.

How about that?

Try to make it look like you're actually involved in the scene. When I watch you I am watching someone who doesn't care whether or not it looks like they are involved in the scene.

"I'm Andy Samburg on Saturday Night Live, my existence alone is enough. I'm getting paid. F*#k it."

"Lines? What are those? I just look at a card and read. That's my job. It doesn't matter if it looks like I'm actually communicating with someone. Ha! That would be ridiculous and require, ha ha ha, eff- ha ha ha, effort! Ha ha ha! Effort. Ha ha ha!"

Andy, you're just not good. You're not very talented. I apologize for saying so, but it's the truth.

Sure, a sketch here and there have been average or better, but it isn't about the sketch, is it? If you really think about it, it's about giving a shit.

You're not an artist. You don't care.

Andy Samburg - you suck.